I really shouldn’t be surprised by anything any more in my life with everything that I’ve learned since I became an adult. But good or bad, life still seems to have some surprises in store for me.
I really have started give up with some people. This piece is really all about a boy. He sent me a message saying that basically if I don’t want to speak to him again that’s my choice, but it was me that caused the problems in the relationship.
This was the message that put a permanent block on any formal contact from him as far as I was concerned. And I will not remove it under any circumstances. You see is true I knew how much he cared about things started a relationship, and I also knew the deep down it was never going to work for the long-term.
I just couldn’t make its past that stage of love and dependency, companionship and long-term shared goals in my mind. I was just never going to make it that far. I couldn’t have loved him the way he deserves or the way that he wanted me to, and God he desperately wants me to.
What can I say, the truth is that life doesn’t work out the way we always want it to, but he also has to take some blame because if he thought things was great as he thought they were, and he thought he knew me as well he thought he did, then he wouldn’t have been so shocked by what happened.
Having somebody pin their entire existence and all the happiness on you as a large weight to carry on your shoulders, and you made to feel guilty every day if you don’t live up to that. Even though that guilt has been imposed on you unintentionally, it’s always going to be there.
So at the end of the day, last night I had to put a stop to things. What worries me is that I feel that nobody will ever be good enough for him, and he may end up being a very sad and lonely lady. I hope that is not the case he really is lovely, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be every single day of my life. Is that a tragedy, or is that an escape?